I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
