I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my vag is so smooth its legendary
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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