Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
