I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
