you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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