yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
time to smoke my breakfast
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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