i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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