Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
