The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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