I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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