i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize