This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
These tits shall not be calmed
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize