...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
