I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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