i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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