I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
