Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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