Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
