She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize