Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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