If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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