An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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