Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
