Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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