why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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