Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i out mim tonsoeep
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