Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
