How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
