I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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