I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
