All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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