No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
