i think my tv is drunk
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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