South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
