My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
