i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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