Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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