like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
