Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
