Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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