Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
