If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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