I showed him my bush... on skype.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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