She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
