have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's official drugs can't kill me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
