is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
