Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize