At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she peed on how many people?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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