yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
