Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
