he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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