found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
