i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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