he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
