I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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