He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why are your pants in the freezer?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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