I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
