It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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