No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
