i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize