Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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